I wanted to name my horse after a Bon Jovi song; nothing too obvious, just a subtle reference. It didn’t work out. I probably should have known better.

Picking a name is serious business with horses. In Quarter Horses more so than Thoroughbreds, the name is usually a hybrid of the father and mother (sire and dam). For example, “Eye of a Streaker”’ was our horse. Her father was Special Eye Appeal and her mother was Streakin Queen. The name must be registered with the American Quarter Horse Association and it can’t duplicate another living horse. For betters at the track, the name gives you an idea of what should be expected. You can tell if a horse is out of proven parents by the name alone.

In the case of my horse, I had found something that seemed to work and my mom had agreed to send it into AQHA with his registration pages. Oddly enough, there is a horse out there named Bonjovi already. Even, I think that’s a little nuts.

Still, somehow, the papers came back with nothing even remotely close to my original name choice; his name is Dee Brakes Gone. We call him Brakes. It was convenient my mom had suggested that name. I should have known better. She always has the last say when it comes to names.

Foaling season is coming up and like every year, I doubt I’ll have any input on the names other than getting a phone call from my mom asking me to “Get on your computer and look this up.” Even though she has working Internet and a perfectly good computer I guess it is easier to call me. At least I get to hear what she’s considering.

I know I probably won’t ever win this argument. The Brakes debacle was years ago and my suggestions on names have never been heeded.  The cows I don’t care about and we won’t be getting another dog anytime soon; but, I think I’ve found a battle I can win: I’ve gone in for the cats.

So this fall when they added five kittens to the two at home, I called out naming rights as soon as I could.

Here’s what I came up with: 

Magnum P.I.: A black cat with a much-defined white strip on his upper lip, i.e. a moustache. I considered Tom Selleck, but Magnum now purrs when I ask him what he’s investigating today.

Captain Charlie Crash: He goes by Charlie but originally I named him Crash because he hails from Owatonna, Minn., where a sheriff’s deputy talked me into taking him home after he was abandoned by his mother at an accident site.

Festus & Matt Dillon: Named after Gunsmoke characters for my Dad (who long ago gave up on naming anything around the ranch).

Stubby: He has a stubby tail. It didn’t quite grow. 

Maytag: He likes to “wash” or lick you.

Aurora Borealis or Boris for short: A long-haired gray that has a perfect ring of white hairs illuminating  his chubby little face like a lunar eclipse.  

Amazingly, whether she just feels a little residual guilt over Brakes (or for naming my puppy even after I’d picked out a name) mom is letting me run with it. Of course, my mom chose my name and as likely suspected I was named after a horse person; except, my namesake wasn’t a girl, but her father. Yep, I’m named after a man (and his daughter who was a Wendy Jr.).

I suppose, like Brakes, I should just be thankful it wasn’t an 80s hair band.